thank you, especially you...

i will endure all this discomfort and pain.
i know i will...

but if one day i loose all strength,
i want you to know, and remember...
that i love you ben, always.

i might not have had the guts to say it to you again.
but i do. always have, always will.

... i was really happy when i got your text message.
wishing me happy birthday.

it was your text that mattered most.

and it happily made my 28th birthday... meaningful.
because all these years, you... well you just made my day and year that day.
^^

and thank you to all my other friends for your kind wishes.
especially you.

am shocked...

i seldom bother adding high schoolmates...
and when someone added me today...
the curious me would naturally click click click click...

and it's only then... i realized one of the albums was a dedication album, memoirs...
even more curious...
i clicked the name... kevin pang...

... apparently he passed away in february...
... i don't know what was the cause...

... all i know is, we were once close when we were in primary...
sighs.

we would use to go mind shop.
and buy x-men trade cards.
some of which he would pay for them.

... later we found out he stole his dad's money...
... and his dad was naturally furious, but forgiving...
if i remembered correctly...

anyhow, REST IN PEACE KEVIN, sorry we didn't keep in touch.

some days, like today...

i do think that,
the other little brother and i,
we share the same music taste.

and somehow, both the little brothers,
they just happen to love pink a little too much.
hehe.

how kiuts. ^^





i'll be away again. for some time now.
being online the past few days has been great.
but tonight,
i have been once again reminded of how i am feeling.

... and i certainly don't enjoy being all pretentious around friends.
i need to... forget you. for good.

... and if there's a need to write... i will just hide the blog for a while then. ^^
until then, a big HUGS to a brand new fabulous year, and years ahead.

being with Austin

OMG!!!

lolz. i didn't know it would be this much fun being with Austin. hahahaha.

it was only few hours together and i am just... head over heels.
he was soooo good to fetch Julie for her Quickie show,
then fetch Ee Von and I around town, then to mamaks... hahahaha.

gosh I do hope Paris feels ok with me abandoning him in the mall...
for Austin... -.-#

will so have to camwhore later when i see Austin... ^.^
was just too dark to do much kinky stuffs this evening. hehe.
WOOTS~~~

day seven so far...

hatez.

nothing has been happening lately.
sien to the max.
but procrastinating in cleaning the house... >.<
and the junks in the office... >.<#

mmm. but lately, i have been loosing strength.
and then i also have been loosing interest...
pretty fast.
well except on meeting Austin.

tho, been pretty busy deleting all those dumb dumbs on msn that don't even talk.
FEELS so much better now that it's way more, simpler.
like why are they on the list when we don't talk. hahaha. ^.^

before i even loose interest in these pictures,
better just post them here now... haha.

so someday in between christmas and new years we went clubbing.
at the opera @ sunway piramid. was pretty... fun. haha.

overly hacked but still alive shoes...


camwhoring with chelsia


pose maut...


competing with pose maut...


camwhoring with elvanna


and then... i had to babysit the dumb miri boy...
-.- taihendesune... hahaha.

... cheap thrill of being a factory worker for... 3 minutes... lolz


i BAM n BAM n BAMMED!!!


lolz. too kiuts. i love the apron. hahaha.


miri boy drawing a "A" under heat and pressure...


kl boy... slaving... for art. haha.


and YAYS am finally going to see Austin later today.
WOOTS~
i hope he turns out FINE~~~
*finger crossed*

*updated 1.32AM... i feel like i have turned into a kid.... geeze the usage of england today is like... -.-# hahaha*

*62 more days*

miscommunication

isn't life just so funny.
so ironic.

that, everything seems to have a trend.
even a topic. a blogpost.
somehow that tends to lead to a similarity.

was about to write about miscommunications.
and evann wrote something similar to it. only, he managed to save it. while i...

i probably never had that friendship to begin with.
let alone that relationship that i once craved for.
it's now probably 2 months since i last spoke to him.

last i saw him was when alex, jason, leo, daniel and i,
we dine at my elephant.
i hope he didn't see me.
i hope when jason yelled for my name, inside the restaurant,
he didn't notice it.
i hope, he didn't recognized my friends.

i didn't plan for our friendship to go like this,
especially one that i treasure so much.
but sometimes a miscommunication unresolved,
just leads it to this path.

i was always open. ready to speak it all out.
he was never, to me at least.
just reserved. fearing that i might have other thoughts.

but how could i not?
when, i know nothing else, but can only guess.
and now all it feels is, i was nothing,
merely another online persona.
not even worth, the friendship.

i used to ask,
was it something i said?
was it something i did, that made you mad?
for now, i am just too tired to understand.
to figure out people's mind.
too tired to get them to open up.
sometimes it's not worth the hassle.
the mind game.
it's just tedious.
even fruitless sometimes.

Like a Song by Lenka




i have been feeling of late, very very uninspired.
to the verge of nothingness.

Accident(s)

late last month i had an accident,
one that was pretty bad.
so bad that i know it's going to be so fun dealing with.

i have probably the most accidents in my family,
i remember the first thing i knocked after i got my L,
was a tree. yes, as simple as me reversing and BANG.
my dad laughed when he heard about it... >.<
my friend who saw the whole thing was just, puzzled.
i was just... speechless. HAHAHA.

then it was with a bus, a volvo. a van,
yes. nothing small. just BIG items.

so with all those incidents,
you can call me the expert.

i know when it's my fault and when i am INNOCENT.

thank god this few years,
i have been INNOCENT. ^.^

so this was what sorta happened...



as long as you are on the main road, in a T-junction, any other vehicles coming out from the side roads are suppose to wait, be patient, look right then left once the main road is clear, only then they are safe to move. else, they are at fault.

the pesalah however argued that he was half way out and i should stop instead.
but i however was, "LIKE I CARE YOU ARE OUT OR EVEN SIGNALING... IT'S MY ROAD AH!"
^.^
well i tried to stop la, but the real road started with a curve then an immediate T-junction,
so with my velocity it wasn't exactly possible to just STOP even if i break hard... DUHZ.

it was a tideous moment after that,
no point arguing.
we decided to just do a report and see who is at fault.

everything was actually fast.
although i wanted to kill Hafiz, the traffic officer.
damn slow. damn... annoying.
i wrote everything down on the report but he kept asking me those same questions...
like... HELLO READ LA!!!
at one point my face turned PISSY,
but urghs, so annoying have to look cute,
so i wouldn't be given a GUILTY judgement... =.=#

*sergeant laila, after investigating the incident, proven him guilty! YAYS!*

this was actually my first time doing a police report for accidents.
all the other "incidents" was settled there and then.
because i know i was at fault or the other person knew it was his/hers,
and would rather just pay it off there and then.

so i learnt a lot.
^.^

now if you had an accident and you plan to do a police report.
and your car is badly damaged, but still possible to drive/move,
while you are slightly shaken by the incident,
call a tow car. especially when you know you are INNOCENT.
because you can claim all those expenses from the pesalah!!!

the reason is if you drove, and you *touch wood*
happen to meet with another accident, the first accident's claim is void.
>.< how horror. like who is going to pay for all those damage now!!!
tsk tsk tsk. so it's your rights to get a tow car. and enjoy the ride.

when the accident happened,
OMG the pesalah came out yelling...
i was calm. ^.^
so used to it already ma. lols.
since he was erm... an indian bigger.
i am not being a racist here, just had bad bad BAD experience with indian drivers!!!
i had to yell back la. i didn't wanna get bullied. lols.
but he managed to calm down after that.
because i saw a rosary in his car, so i told him, if he gotten violent, he will see god very soon

*the by standers were like... aiyoh ah boy you shouldn't yell at him!!! later he whack you ah!!!*

there's a reason why it's called an accident,
because nobody wanted it to happen,
else it would have been called intentioned,
so please, when it happens, don't shout,
it doesn't help. and always kill people with politeness and kindness instead.
erm just don't be silly and get bullied instead la. lols.

*freaky thing is, both of us are born on 11.03, and the accident happened at 11.03am!!!*
*i learnt that proffan and ivan also had an accident past few days ago... >.< omg horror!*
*on my way back just now from bowling, my car skidded like mad on the highway... HORROR!!! thank god i am safe!*

kick ass

woahs. been a long exhausting week.
and somehow i never knew i had such energy in me.
it's been a while since i acted.
i don't consider the horrible experience in "impian" as acting.
more like being a puppet that got screwed up.
so goodbye boys, goal & gincu, pisau cukur was it... lols.

anyways, decided to take on a role for 8tv's new series.
already left in-charged of the styling.
then i was also offered the Production Designer's role.
WOOTS.

and i sure kick someone's ass flat with my work. HAHA.
even if i used ikea furniture. i kick her ass flat.
KAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA!!!
why because the previous Art Director wannabe has no colour sense.
^.^

from turning a run down apartment.
with a superb tight budget.
so tight my shopping last week was ultra super SPLURGE.
that's how shitty the budget is.
but yet i kicked ass!

from an messy-empty run down flat,



it was digusting!
and to learn that a girl is still living there then.
she doesn't clean it at all!!!
so before we started, we hired cleaners.
no way am i cleaning any toilet bowls. ^.^
or even mop the floor.



of cuz i wasn't doing all the paint work alone,
the in-house crew help painting the main colours.
and the interns help me paint the details.
many thanks to abang jamal, james, omar, liyana, dian.

i just love the wall effect i thought of. GENIUS!
*coughs and i stole coughs coughs but improvised Jen's artwork for the mural*



now a mmm... a pretty chill out crib.
i guess for a six day job, we transformed this place really superb already~la.



me a 26 year old playing a 16 year old student... -.-#



somedays, it's tiring.
exhausting. and perhaps endless criticizing.
but in the end, you are smitten,
when you know that,
you have at least entertained a handful of people.
^.^

and then i am so proud of myself.
because at least then,
i feel like i did something really good.
and i have something to leave behind after i "kaput".
LOLS.

and then i feel like i need a self reward and i will go out shop like a mad little kid who has been chained to a evil evil room for the longest time, hence when i see a shop with super nice things, i feel like a boy who sees a hot super sexy chick. i have that urge to BUY everything and splurge like a mad mad mad dog.

so... catch blogger boy this coming end may on 8tv. ^.^

WOW

has been two crazy event filled days.

friday started with a absolute vodka party at lodge hotel.
we got cranky when the prizes was FINISHED in like 15 minutes.
=.=
haha none-the-less it was cool.







continued with cris yong's high heels sisters party at club six nine,
after sending the little brother for his date. :P
all the fashion sisters had to have our heels on.

guess which one is mine. lols~~~


then the crazy big day came.
i was nervous and excited.
didn't know what to expect.

it rained when the party was about to start.
i panic. i was cursing like mad k.
HEY, i ain't being cheap here!
why RAIN!? i wanna do a fashion show game k!!!
my LONG RUNWAY... ruined!!!

the kids looked at me like a weirdo invading their home.
since i was alone, they accompanied me...
one asked why i was so grouchy? lols.
poor lads, they must be like... omg... sicko in the house.

BUT thank god it turned out to be a kick ass party.
a big THANK YOU to Kit (Laundry Apah), Laundry Amah's hubby. LOLS.
he came saving the day by being the game master.

thank god my guests were superb!!!
thank god the kids were FABULOUS!!!
THANK GOD IT TURNED OUT GREAT!!!

Kit, getting everyone together for the games.




after a short ice break, and Kit's amazing ability with kids, LOLS.
my fashion show was a possible game!!!
YAYS!
i wanted to see how creative people can be with recyclable items.
and omg...
amazing!!!!!!!!!
and because i was getting broke, newspaper... almost free... gosh genius!



even the fashion designer lost to the architect. LOLS.




ADIDAS and CROCS were being so supportive, they donated some clothes and shoes for the kids. ^.^


SO CUTES




so in the end we selected 8 winners,
out of so many other amazing creations.
*honestly they all should WIN!*
i was just so shocked,
with everyone's creativity!!! ^.^
*prize money was donated by my dear friend, Li Wei*

from a room filled with serious looking adults, in a matter of time,
it just transformed into a wild wild recycling fashion room. HAHA.


with Joyce and Laundry Amah.


basically the whole idea was,
all my guests had to buy a present for the kids,
my birthday party but the kids present. ^.^
in a way, it's not only my birthday, but it's the kids birthday!!!

i wasn't taking pictures so a lot of other pictures are just in my head.
for now at least... ^.^
*i know there's a lot of pictures here already...*

it was getting harder to leave. they were being all so entertaining, chit chatting all the way~ singing, bashing one another with news paper... -.- lols.
some were so greedy... they just wanted me to stay for some more pressies -.-


after that long short exhausting day, i needed a drink, badly.
we went over to jaya one for a BIG drink. literally.







i was HAPPY to see a big glass to camwhore with,
by the end, i was SICK of it.


conclusion, it was money well spend.
lets say 4 Paul Smith shirts,
or a bag from Dior or Gucci or Prada,
hell might even be a Louis Vuitton.

but if i spend that on a silly bag,
it probably makes me happy.

or if i threw a party at a club,
we would all get serious drunk...
which always happens anyway.

dinner at a fancy restaurant... anytime la.
why wait for birthdays as an excuse... lols.

so spending it with 50 over friends,
and 57 super CUTE charming kids,
with an amazing memory,
i think know, that's just PRICELESS!

picture credits: Alex THANKS~ :P
*oh erm if there's any pic of yourself... and u erm don't want it up... tell me... i MIGHT remove it. haha*

major cravings

gosh. it's either a dull moment.
or just TOO happening.
so this is a pretty long post.
because i was too lazy to write.
and if i don't anytime soon,
by the time i actually do,
this will be a REALLY REALLY long post.

exactly last week i was a bride's maid.
out of the sudden.
but hack i am glad i am not the heng hai.
cuz there's no way i wanna do those ridiculous obstacles.
-.- LOLS.

anyways it was ee von's wedding.
a friend i knew since the age of 6.
we i had our a tiff.

a minor major one... depends how you view it. haha.
basically our friendship was taken forgranted for.
and i was pissed about it.
so i ignored her for almost two to three years?

but i am glad we made up.
after me avoiding 101 calls etc.
but in the end i gave in,
because it's really hard to find such long lasting friendship.
and she really made the effort to be friends! ^.^

CONGRATS!!!
Wedding Picture credits Anna Rina

and guess what, when the bouquet of flower was thrown. it came flying to me. only i avoided ran away from it. so the flower MAMPUSed... lols!!! the other girls had to go get a new one. which in the end, i decided i LIKE red roses way better than that cheap white looking day flower. HAHAHAHA!!!

then came MONDAY, where some of the other bloggers got itchy.
one was literally gatal.
decided to go DUA residency for lunch to peek on some waiter.
-.-
and the whole entourage went along since our ass was bored rotting at home.
but DANG he wasn't there.

went down to klcc after the lame ass lunch in yuck-li-cious.
*i swear ANOTHER SESSION THERE, that's the new name for it!*
being all bored and probably too much money,
we had HIGH TEA at the all new and overly priced HARRODS.
we dozed off listening to NORAH JONES.
went to the toilet to apply many layers of lotion. -.-
to make our money worth...

since we were on our splurging mood, i suggested dinner at
Tamarind Springs!!!
but was afraid without prior reservation, we would be ignored.
true enough it was FULLY BOOKED... MCB.
so we settled down for one of my many cravings.
KOREAN BBQ~~~


and blink blink came my birthday.
ee von texted to see if i was keen for dinner.
^.^

was hilarious.

eevon: hi if you don't have any plans tonight or tomorrow night, i would like to bring you out for dinner.
me: lols. tonight is fine.
eevon: ok where about?
me: the same place we had the chi mui meeting at jaya one? sometime around 7?
eevon: mmm, you could decide on somewhere apart from that too you know.
me: OMG really... ok. LA FITE then!!! ^.^
*it was a joke... LOLS*
eevon: OMMMMMMMMGGGGGG!!! don't la until LA FITE.
me: LOLS. i actually want to go COLISEUM.
eevon: ok~

before we went, while in the car she asked... you sure you don't want 7ate9 or somewhere else? coliseum???
LOLS~

i missed this old place. and i wanted it. badly.
before it closes down or something. HAHA.



i ordered us the wrong dish. HAHA. but it was still yummie.
... who am i kidding. the standard dropped like mad. =.=
but i still loved it. HAHAHAHA.
eevon saw a few 'siu keongs' in the restaurant. LOLS!

oh and the toilet was upstairs... SO DOGGY. hahaha!!!

and the captain was still there... LOLS...
still being himself... all moody and living the olden days.
LOLS~~~

we went to chillies to have cake and baileys.

and i went home after that for my sharkfins soup.
^.^
i felt a little guitly after that.
just a little.

sorry for a LAME ASS POST.
my brains... well it died when i turned 6...

fever has a HOTS for me.

been a long day.
ever since i have been complaining that i am BORED.
i decided to do something about it.

got shaz, to help me with my workout again.
woke up at 5.45am to get ready for gym at 7.30am. -.-
3 times a week, for two months.
semangat siut kan!

done with that about 9ish. went for a YUMMIE breakfast,
... at some kopitiam at the curve.
then to the office for a quick drop by. ^.^

... and the dramaness begins. haha.

since malaysia is HOTS. panasss~
i decided to chop the bangs. -.-
well technically scott decided to chop the bangs.

all the way to wangsa maju just to let scott chop them yoz

and since i am done with 'Bad Monkey by Matt Ruff',
went to klcc for a book hunt.
'Exit Here by Jason Myers' ^.^
zzzz, but they were out of stock.
so i ended up with two other books!
'This is What I Did by Ann Dee Ellis' - looked interesting.
'Ways of Seeing by John Berger' - had this in college.
zzzz!!!
actually i never realised that i read so much.
i thought i am a lazy ass kid while growing up,
but it seems, i read quite a bit...


some times, you just have to judge a book, by it's cover

dropped by to energie & miss sixty's charity event.

it's about, donating your old pair of WEARABLE jeans for,
a RM300 voucher,
to be redeemed for a new pair of jeans from Energie or Miss Sixty.
your old WEARABLE jeans will then be donated to charity.
this goes on till end of may, so spread the words,
if you want/need a new pair of jeans! ^.^
or even if you have too many pair of old WEARABLE jeans.


dj thomas was spinning for the day

i don't get it, what's the fuzz with cupcakes & events? i prefer MUFFINS!

SUGAR!!!

fendie with bernie chan & ning baizura.

both babes looking fabulous in miss sixty

julia decided we needed a picture together.

with my new short hair... -.-

and with that, i got another door gift. =.=

another keychain! ^.^


ADIDAS's cute robot and mini cushion, aigner's luxurious lock pad
ah~ my lame ass/useless/weird FABULOUS door gifts...
GIVE US REDEEMABLE PRODUCT VOUCHERS!!!
imagine that... every month. ^.^
meow~ LOLS.

the night ended with meeting crystal up,
at pavilion first,
*this is when i felt something odd happening to my body*
for her birthday dinner treat at tweentyone, Changkat Bukit Bintang.
had a RM50 voucher from SOME OTHER EVENT... ^.^
so decided to give it a try.

was actually DAMN YUMMIE. haha.
loved the boogie drink. hahaha!

sadly, this is when mr FEVER had to come hunt me down, AGAIN.
i felt sick. so we cut the dinner short. -.-

i blame the stupid weather and weak body and LEO! haha.
this is the third time i am having FEVER this year. T.T
... never has anything been so attached with me before this...
fever certainly has a HOTS for me.