that time of the year

it now comes that time of the year.

where it's ending soon.
and you reflect what happened...
and make new resolutions...
and not keep them.
so i say screw it.

a lot of things has happened this year.
lots of ups and lots of down.
that sort of made my life pretty balanced up.

in general, i guess... i lived life well.
i have everything i ever wanted.
except ben
i felt love, pain, agony. etc
i tasted hate, lust, tears, temptations... etc
i was happy, content, sad, angry, emotional... etc etc etc.

i spent some quality time with UTT!!!
^^ happy die me.

i don't know till today if there were any actions i did,
that i would regret later in life...
but like i said before, regrets are silly...
what ever mistakes you did, learn from them.

always reflect on your life, not compare with others.
if you want to compare, compare with those less privileged.
geeze like so... bitchy, looking down on the less fortunate ones
well it's not to make yourself feel better in life,
rather feel more humble and blessed.

simply because, even tho they are less fortunate in various means,
they have the courage and determination to carry on living.
simple life.

this... writing has some how blown out of proportions. ops.

i like/hate this picture.
it's like one part evil, one part... human. tee hee.


i guess what i am trying to type is that,
the biggest lessons learnt this year is,
that i shouldn't think too much of the future.
shouldn't let peer pressure make me rush into doing things,
that i am personally not ready for.

i should also always have in mind that,
whatever road we take, god has something planned ahead for us.
and whatever the outcome, we should be content with it.
and if it doesn't turn out to be a desired one, just smile,
walk past it, straight ahead to a new chapter.
because there was for sure something to learn from it.

i also learnt that, everybody wants something.
including people who are keen with going out with you, and then announce that if they want to go shopping with you, they have to bare with my bitchness etc etc etc
out of everybody, including myself.
i think, true friendship doesn't really exist anymore.
it's overrated.

so some roads, you are meant to walk alone.
it's probably better that way. no bad feeling towards anyone.
no finger pointing.
no name calling etc.

i also learnt that, you can, live without me.
just that... i am coping this reality without you.

i do think life is fun.
but honestly,
i am so tired of it.

so, next year, i will just live day by day.
not plan anything... much... ahead.