sky so bright sky so might sky so high

i wish i could just say that i am leaving.
i wish that i could some how, extract certain memories away.

some days, some nights, like today tonight...
the world seems and feels so bright...
and so large at scale.
buildings seems just, so... enormous.
that life seems so fragile... that you just,
somehow, cannot control it...

looking up the sky,
the clouds, they seem so calm.
and the moon... it's just so bright.
serene.

i wish i could just remember those moments,
when i was just at peace,
at bliss.
where everything seems so calm and easy.

everyone in this life has/have their own issues.
problems where it's mostly emotional based.
how they would want to solve it,
to move on,
to just... forgive and forget,
but is usually easier said than done...

till today, enough tho... i want too...
i can just never forget...

i tried to cry.
i really really did.
but tears just refuse to flow down...

i don't know how...
or even if i could just do this anymore...
all i know for now, i am grateful that i will be away...
from KL soon...
i do hope that these few months will make me... calmer.

the innocent cow's head

malaysian... well to be exact... some malays... are very free...
so free they have nothing better to do...
but to pijak pijak on a poor cow's head.
because they have to fast...
(not just food ya~ but also sex etc...)
hence they have some extra energy to put into some... lame use.

*... mmm i wonder if youtube will be asked to remove this video ma?*


mmm why got a banner TAKE BEEEER!!!
are they implying...
they rather have 7-11 selling beers...
than to have a temple built near them???

they need suntory ba???
*i will SOOOOO SUPPORT!!! step on that cow more!!!*

well they do have a point, why build a temple in a 90% muslim residency.
and mmm they did suggest another place for them to build it...
so it's not like they said NO NO NO to the temple~~~
*just... some where else... and give us BEEEER!!! SUNTORY!!!*

BUT THE QUESTION HERE IS... WHY DID THEY HAVE TO INSULT THE OTHER RELIGION? DID THEY HAVE TO PARADE WITH A COW'S HEAD? AND THEN STEP ON IT??? LIKE THEY SAID, IT'S THAT DOINK'S FAULT... SO WHY NOT STEP ON HIS FACE OR SOMETHING??? gosh...
*if this were chinese, or indians hor... coughs coughs... all masuk lokap d... for some... un-peaceful demonstration*

tsk tsk tsk... so silly.

syabas jer la yer...
tindakan dan perkara yang telah ditunjukkan...
semata-matanya, satu teladan untuk masyarakat sedunia...
bahawa bertape undurnya pemikiran anda. ^.^
BODOH SEKALI.

i bet they were enjoying the cow's body for dinner just now... with suntory...
and they... SNIFF SNIFF didn't ajak me!!!
HATEZ!!!
i wanna march at their house later to scream!!! -.-#
coughs... so much for 1Malaysia... PFFFFTT
WHERE's MY BEER!!!

little mischief

was on the way out for a meeting.

joachim came running out to say bye bye.

went to the car.

joshua came out to say bye bye.
and ran in immediately.

i yelled out his name...
seconds later he yelled out... YA~~~
and he appears at the gate...

i said back to him: BE A GOOD BOY ah!!!
he smiles and gives a super cheeky look...
CANNOT BE NAUGHTY AH...?

... that was never an option.
don't misbehave. ^.^

somehow it makes you wonder, where they learn all this tricks.
being so cheeky and witty.
not that i have ever shown them bad examples... yet.
does the tv have that much mischief elements?

... speak of the devil... he's crying downstairs now. -.-

chant it remember it

must focus.
must remember.
must chant.
must OBEY.

there are no males worth loving.
none of them are good and deserving.
most of them are bastards.
majority of them are shallow.

only a few are worthy,
only a few are worthy being cared for,
but only as friends.
nothing else. nothing more.

none of them deserve my attention.
none of them are worth the pain.

i can so live without him.
i do not need him.
i am an independent kid!!!
^.^

i cannot and will not and never NEVER ever fall again.
the heart cannot afford to get hurt, again.
... there's no heart to begin with.
so there is no way to love again.

hospital bills are expensive,
better to spend them on shopping.
FOCUS!!!
a birkin bag is probably more worth it.

should only be in a relationship with me, myself and i.
oh darling~ can we please go shopping!
we need some pampering moments!!! ^.^

bulan yang rajin

here's a thought.
while some people are whining or rather warning...
it's the hard working month for the cops...
to ask for bribes etc... on the road...

there's two things to ponder...
firstly if we didn't go against the law...
they cannot stop us kan?
so... we are at fault to begin with... kan???

... that kopi duit is gosh better than the hassle of going to the balai...
or even the post office to settle the payment... HASSLE~

... PLUS... mmm... isn't it good that they are only hardworking one month in twelve months!?
imagine how, SAFE the road would be. ^.^

square one

urghs.
i don't know if i have enough strength to go thru this phrase.
but i have to.

sighs.
i took up probably a little too many shoots till early next year.
hoping that i wouldn't have a single spare moment to think about nonsense.
gosh. oh dear lord god, i do hope this works.

... just that i have been so used to ranting about work to you too.
damnit. and now mmm... whom do i bitch and gossip about with...
feels like the plan just brought me back to square one...
only now i have more things to think about.

nothing more but an online friend

i'm kinda badly effect...
with this emotional thingy.
and i don't exactly know how to block it out.

so write i should.
to at least rant it all out.

it's now close to a month since we last spoke.
in many ways it seems like, i am the one who wants this relationship.
this friendship, this brotherhood more.

seeing that it doesn't really matter to you if i called etc or not.
well i am not your boi, hyung.
even tho i said that let's just be friends or like brothers.

tho, i really don't know what's going on in that head of yours.
when you say you keep things to yourself,
that's how you are like, being selfish.
... that's not exactly true.
and i know it for a fact.
that you do talk about your problems to others.

you probably just don't trust me,
or feel uncomfortable about sharing those issues with me.
and i do get it. i know what it's like, to have someone,
that you could trust and console all your issues and problems with...
to me, it's you, the one, of the few people i would and could tell things to...

it just hurts that you would say that it's how you are like,
being selfish... when in actual possibilities, you are just not comfortable...

perhaps it's yet another menial thing that i am getting so worked up about.
but if all these while, it's just me sharing my problems with you,
me unloading all my dramas to you, when you don't feel comfortable sharing yours with me.
then i feel like i am a burden to your life.

that i need you more than you need me in your life.
which is, true.
the only reason why you have been so patient so far,
was probably only because i told you i would rather die than to loose you.
and you know what i mean.

it's just not fair to either of us.
since all i want is for you to be happy.
and if you are happier without me in your life.
then it's probably best that if we don't communicate so much anymore.

i don't hate you. i could never bring myself to hate someone i love so much.
and yes i don't think i could live a day without thinking about you...
but i will try.

i saw you last night, at my elephant, and you were looking good in your new hair cut.
i didn't want to be seen by you.
i do hope you didn't see me.
naturally you wouldn't have.
it's not the first time us being in the same room, yet i am invisible.

i will try to smile. and be happy.
just remember, i am here always if you need anything.
perhaps i am just another online friend, but i care a lot about you.

silly little moments with joshua

one of my youngest nephew just cracked me up.
he is not well, has a flu. not H1N1 thank god.
so his nose was running, and i got him a tissue.
i didn't bother doing it for him, expected him to blow himself.

... but with one blow he wanted to throw the tissue...
actually more like passing it back to me, to throw.
i was just... annoyed. like... hello i ain't your maid kid.
lols.

so i told him off, that he is wasting tissue.
that he should at least blow a few more times...
but AWWWW...
to his defences, he is only 4, and he did it with the sweetest voice,
that he has yet to go school to learn manners and etc etc etc...
AWWWWWW~~~ so kiuts.

half the time i think he is a real good actor,
he is simply the smarty when it comes to, MANJA with people...
but in actual fact we adults sometimes forget it's our duty to show them the world.
and not expect the world to show them what is it like out there...

hurts like a heart attack.

..................................... it still hurts so badly inside.
:(


i wish i could cry. but i forgotten how it was like to have tears.
it's a lot easier acting it out then doing it for real... :(

somedays i wished i never knew.
somedays i wished i never came back.
somedays, i wished i never replied your email.
so i wouldn't have known you. and wouldn't have fallen.
3 years... yet... i wonder............... will i be able to forget you.

and then, yet i never regretted knowing you.
knowing what it was loving you.

it's now just the question of, moving on... urghs. hatez!

"After awhile you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to understand that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head held high and your eyes wide open.
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.
You learn to build your roads
On today because tomorrow's ground
Is too uncertain for plans, and futures have
A way of falling down in mid flight.
After awhile you learn that even sunshine
Burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate
Your own soul, instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure,
That you really are strong.
And you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn... and you learn
With every goodbye you learn."

~ Veronica A. Shoffstall

heavy in thoughts

ouch. too much thoughts. panting. prancing. droopy. sleepy.
but heavy in thoughts.
too much in deed.
noise.
there's too much.
as tho some sort of voices.

silent. silences. but they are still there.
thoughts.
they are every where.
going thru, every single little details.

buzz. as tho, white noises in the mind.
sleepy head. heavy eye lids.
but yet. eyes are wide open.

easy the mind. breathe.
easy to say, but what exactly am i doing.
typing. with my eyes closed. trying.

life is about making mistakes.

oh i do want to stop thinking for a while.
stop stop stop.
but i can't seem to stop.
it just keeps going.
from one thought to another,
totally being all random... ... ... ... ... ........
oh please just stop. it's tormenting my beauty rejuvenation.

how random.

... thoughts are making my stomach hungry.
hatez.
... hates.

breath. breathe. i crave for that dreamland.
in that land where i am safe. and sound all alone.
with the sea sand sun and breeze.
where i can breath.

feel freely.
with noises of the nature.
just me and nature.
and organized tunes from nature.
playing around. flowing.
silences, there are none.
thoughts, there are plenty.
it seems to be aplenty at this wee hour.
tsk tsk tsk.

mind. it cannot be silent.
if it did, i were probably dead.
oh body feels weak. tired. exhausted. mind...
over flowing with nonsense. -.-

oh do let it rest then. so i can stop scribbling on cyber space.

presenting E.R.T.

yay. just another 2 more months plus and i will finally get to see the movie we did last year.

anyhow we recently did the music video for the theme song E.R.T, sang by Farah Asyikin.
don't ask me why E.R.T. k. lols.
but it basically stands for ekonomi rumah tangga. heh.


let's play spot little prince k. lols.
after showing this clip to Alex he said i was inside... and OMFG... i didn't even realized. lols. so yea, spot little prince. :P



Pisau Cukur here literally means Gold Digger la. ^.^

and more publicity pictures with the girls for a local gossmag. :P

Accident(s)

late last month i had an accident,
one that was pretty bad.
so bad that i know it's going to be so fun dealing with.

i have probably the most accidents in my family,
i remember the first thing i knocked after i got my L,
was a tree. yes, as simple as me reversing and BANG.
my dad laughed when he heard about it... >.<
my friend who saw the whole thing was just, puzzled.
i was just... speechless. HAHAHA.

then it was with a bus, a volvo. a van,
yes. nothing small. just BIG items.

so with all those incidents,
you can call me the expert.

i know when it's my fault and when i am INNOCENT.

thank god this few years,
i have been INNOCENT. ^.^

so this was what sorta happened...



as long as you are on the main road, in a T-junction, any other vehicles coming out from the side roads are suppose to wait, be patient, look right then left once the main road is clear, only then they are safe to move. else, they are at fault.

the pesalah however argued that he was half way out and i should stop instead.
but i however was, "LIKE I CARE YOU ARE OUT OR EVEN SIGNALING... IT'S MY ROAD AH!"
^.^
well i tried to stop la, but the real road started with a curve then an immediate T-junction,
so with my velocity it wasn't exactly possible to just STOP even if i break hard... DUHZ.

it was a tideous moment after that,
no point arguing.
we decided to just do a report and see who is at fault.

everything was actually fast.
although i wanted to kill Hafiz, the traffic officer.
damn slow. damn... annoying.
i wrote everything down on the report but he kept asking me those same questions...
like... HELLO READ LA!!!
at one point my face turned PISSY,
but urghs, so annoying have to look cute,
so i wouldn't be given a GUILTY judgement... =.=#

*sergeant laila, after investigating the incident, proven him guilty! YAYS!*

this was actually my first time doing a police report for accidents.
all the other "incidents" was settled there and then.
because i know i was at fault or the other person knew it was his/hers,
and would rather just pay it off there and then.

so i learnt a lot.
^.^

now if you had an accident and you plan to do a police report.
and your car is badly damaged, but still possible to drive/move,
while you are slightly shaken by the incident,
call a tow car. especially when you know you are INNOCENT.
because you can claim all those expenses from the pesalah!!!

the reason is if you drove, and you *touch wood*
happen to meet with another accident, the first accident's claim is void.
>.< how horror. like who is going to pay for all those damage now!!!
tsk tsk tsk. so it's your rights to get a tow car. and enjoy the ride.

when the accident happened,
OMG the pesalah came out yelling...
i was calm. ^.^
so used to it already ma. lols.
since he was erm... an indian bigger.
i am not being a racist here, just had bad bad BAD experience with indian drivers!!!
i had to yell back la. i didn't wanna get bullied. lols.
but he managed to calm down after that.
because i saw a rosary in his car, so i told him, if he gotten violent, he will see god very soon

*the by standers were like... aiyoh ah boy you shouldn't yell at him!!! later he whack you ah!!!*

there's a reason why it's called an accident,
because nobody wanted it to happen,
else it would have been called intentioned,
so please, when it happens, don't shout,
it doesn't help. and always kill people with politeness and kindness instead.
erm just don't be silly and get bullied instead la. lols.

*freaky thing is, both of us are born on 11.03, and the accident happened at 11.03am!!!*
*i learnt that proffan and ivan also had an accident past few days ago... >.< omg horror!*
*on my way back just now from bowling, my car skidded like mad on the highway... HORROR!!! thank god i am safe!*

go figure the title...

i find it, hard to blog again. almost. really.
especially. since. i. said. i. erm. i. would. stop.
after. little. dove. stopped.

but most of it, because i need my outlet to rant.
since i have been overly updating my facebook status, it's pathetic.
hahahaha.

so yes i need an outlet.
besides, it's my dairy.
in most ways.
and i missed posting up YOUTUBE videos here...
gosh i heart youtube so much.
i miss sharing.
^.^

furthermore i just don't like the idea of putting my pictures on facebook and the copyright ends up belonging to them...
that sucks.
and partly i fear blogspot would just... mmm... wipe/erase my entire blogspot like what happened to adrienz. horror.

so i am back... to... write. but rant mostly. erm or post pictures... and videos... and musics... WOOTS.
*claps*

lots have happened in the recent months,
naturally.
anyhow, all i want to do for this post is,
quick post of all the singapore cheap thrill pictures,
and to post this sad passing of a very dashing young lad...
very mysterious tragic death. sighs. he was so young... and hot.
his death, just doesn't make sense.
and why so little news coverage about it...
just because he's not famous?
just because the organizers want minimal negative publicity about it???
go marathon... and you end up dead... >.<
Facebook Page
India News
Malay News
yes, i might not know him personally...
but JUSTICE to his death please!!!

peace, out.
little prince

*they are all moving pictures, so it takes a while to upload*