obsession out of boredom

i hate playing games.

one of the many reason is that i will get obsessed.
and lately i have been so...
tied up with certain things...
*work, life, life, life life...*
i just didn't wanna deal with...
*i have been pretty super anti-social of late*
so with my too much free time...

i got obsessed playing... angry birds. AGAIN!
this time trying to get all 3 stars!
=.=









soooooo funssss...
i mean to see all the STARS~~~ ^^
...
i still have so many bloody levels to clear... URGHS!!!
i get obsess with things pretty easily.
but i also loose interest equally fast...
*like how i already dislike the stupid lunatik*
... i hope i loose interest with this game... soon.

Headless Heroes

so much has been happening.
but i am so lazy to write them.
plus,
i am having memory issue lately.
sighs.
i don't remember something what i want to write already.
oh well... that's what happens with aging.

i like the artwork. so artsy~ ^^
=.= song kinda emo. haha.


oh geeze... i suddenly remember some of them...
LOL!!!

we were so bored the other day we did some...
naughty porno shots with Mark. tee hee.

well ok it's not really porno...
... then again it looks like soft porn...
will post them later or maybe tomorrow or... this weekend. ^^

ah. me lurves wang lee hom.

best toy of the month!

been throwing away so much junk in the house...


i really liked this dumb piggy bank... there was 3 designs i think

since the kids are no longer in the other room...
i have space in the house ^^
and that means i can buy junks toys!
so i finally gotten my industrial sewing machine.
tee hee.

dad bought me a home sewing machine 10 years back...
=.= gosh i am ancient. haha.
anyhow i never liked that machine...
he decided to buy super randomly and if i didn't want it...
... that simply means i don't need it.
so there and then i had to say yes... because i am greedy.
like wtf. why can't we go around to find a better brand?
at least a brother, singer... something star??? cannot sew at all loh!
so yea that machine... i never sewn anything much out of it...



but today, the first one hour after getting this toy...
i made myself a new curtain.
just for the fun of sewing.
curtains are super duper easy to sew.
and i have so much fabrics in the house.
tee hee~ funs.



weekends are going to be filled with making clothes now.
;) cotton is up. polyester is up...
petrol is up... =.= everything is up...
so yea... better make my own clothes again.
FUNS~~~

... now to shop for a drafting/cutting table...

nonsense close to 3am...

there are 10 thousand trillion billions millions thoughts going on about in my head when it touches the pillow. but when i come sit here in front of the computer, the mind just goes blank. goodness, my entire body is dead tired, the mind is exhausted. but yet it doesn't want to rest. funny, that the thought of giving up would even occur to it when it doesn't even want to REST!!! >.< urghs hatez.

but yes there are so much things i want to say... emo emo emo emo emo thoughts. and it's only here, at this space where i still have an outlet to release everything out. not that i am ALWAYS emo, but i feel that facebook is now beginning to be just too... public. this spot, still feels a little more familiar, like a comfort zone.

sighs. i wish there was an off button for the mind.

hufffsss

mmm lately my life is in such a mess.
super messy.
i am super lazy to even do my laundry... -.-
clothes have been piling up around the room... house...


i stole this soap. haha.


something you gave me,
that till today,
i have yet to open it.
i guess, it will forever be my pandora.


life sometimes has no meaning.
you could seek so much for that simple meaning,
but thru out the entire journey...
you just simply forgotten to, live that life.

makes me wonder,
if my time were to stop suddenly...
will i have many regrets?

as much as i would be in denial...
i know i do already have some...

something random

i will be off to china one week from today,
for a week...
(it will be nov when i come back)
i think i will be super deprived of the internet.
no msn. no facebook.

am i mentally prepared for that?

... as expected, K isn't interested. :)
well that's at least what i think.
seeing that he doesn't really responds to my sms.

oh well. life is such a funny road.
i think it's best walking alone and laughing out loud alone.

some random pictures i snapped today.
i rarely snap pictures these days...
i don't know why...
i don't even really bother camwhoring the blond side of me now...

these bananas are huge. they say that this fruit will soon be extinct if we are not careful.



went to visit the set today.
while i was leaving, i took a different route,
and saw this house with the plane,
i smiled a little because it's the house my friend took a picture of some time back...



i think that my england has gone down the drain.

DOUBLES

... gosh. this is bad.

SUDDENLY... the whole night...
i am OBSESSED with double eyelid...
to the stage that i am actually googling about it...
and that's a very very very dangerous sign...

because i might just go get it done tomorrow...
LOL!!!
=.= *SWEATs*

must go ogle at more korean faces...
hopefully i will love back singles... -.-
KAKAKAKAKAKAKA.
how random.

blank

everyday i feel like snapping a picture.
so i can post them here.
instead of writing so much.
but i am just not inspired.

everyday i feel more and more tired.
to do things, anything just feels like a chore.

last weekend, i went down to singapore.
what was suppose to be a spontaneous one day trip,
turned into a night trip...
sighs. will never trust people.
anyone for that matter.

everyday, i feel that i my trust level shrinks less and lesser.

everyday, i feel that i am acting, smiling away.
pretending everything is ok.

everyday, almost hourly, i find myself, questioning myself...
Are you ok?

only to hear the answer, i don't know...
and now, i don't know anymore comes to thought.

and everyday, i think how many more days are left to count.

some people are grateful for so little.
i am so blessed, but yet...

work is sort of my only escape right now...

grrr another random feeling...

OMG.
i really really hate this feeling...

it happen the last time when i saw austin...
and now... =.=
i can't stop thinking about the honda city car...
SUDDENLY!!!

... urghs... paris... i am so sorry...
but... i might have to sell you soon...
so i can make way to... X2010...

mmm... what will mummy say...
... but hor... the stupid insurance a year is so not fun.
can buy a LV bag jor... KNS!

first day at the office was fun. ^^
so excited.
can't wait for my room to be done.
lol. WOOTS!!!

downhill

sighs.
will be going up maxwell hill later...

don't know what i will be facing this time...
even with a strong mind to face it...
part of me feel that i might breakdown any moment now...

and i don't even know why...
... perhaps i do...
i just don't want to face it...

technology ruins romance

of course it does.
i totally agree...

i used to get letters when i was 13...
and i think those were the sweetest thing ever.
haha.

-.- i am beginning to forgotten how my handwriting looks like.
eeps.



kinda reminds me of "he's just not that into you" script...

I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It's exhausting.

silent nights

i really love the night.
it's so quiet, so peaceful.

oddly at times like this,
i don't feel so lonely but content...
in fact even blissful with life.

i probably hate people a lot.
else why would i like an empty street...

i used to love crowded places.
i used to go concerts, being there with the crowds.
now i can't even bare being in a pack dance floor.

i also find it tiring to meet new people.
it's always the same old thing.
it's getting to a point of a boring routine.
same old boring questions...
then... *insert birds flocking away image*
because at most times, it doesn't even go anywhere.

i so need to get away.
but i don't even know where to,
my heart is saying hk.
my mind is saying bkk.
my bank is saying stay on the bed...
my body is saying just live life a little...
my schedule is saying i soon might be busy busy busy...

SIGHS!
how i drool for days to be like nights.
... and why am i always hungry at nights!!!

kampung city

it's coming to that time of the year,
where invades will slowly start to 'balik kampung',
and the city will be hopefully restored to the empty state.
that is the best time ever to drive around.

hassle free. no jam. just lovely.
no unwanted crowds. haha. ^^

but having that said,
while i was in ipoh,
it did make me extremely envious of those who had a kampung to go back too...

for many simply reasons...
they get to be away from the sickening city life.
only, the ironic part is they are away usually when it's the best moment.
NO JAM! haha.

they get to taste, savour simpler food.
more authentic flavours.
they have lovely scenery.
old buildings to camwhore with... -.-

but mostly, they get to see two different worlds.

thou the real fact is,
that they grew up in a simple manner...
especially those from a kampung...
with very basic amenities...

i don't mean to be insulting...
it's just that if you grew up with cemented toilets...
probably no heater... squatting toilet style...
walking barefooted around the house compound...
a swing made out of tyre...
i just feel those people are super down to earth,
compared to the city kids...

they don't mind lacking the conveniences of certain luxury.
especially when traveling.

unlike me...
i tend to get annoyed at all those little things.
more particular with a lot of things...
how the bedsheets should be...
ok fine i can still bare with ugly bedsheets,
BUT the toilet has to be CLEAN with a heater... that is a priority!

i will die if i had to live in a kampung house...
visiting is fine... but living in there,
even for a night... just kill me.

while kampung kids always feel envious of the city kids...
but, for what? the city has not much traditional values...
not much heritage...
it's basically a place made of pretty minerals, cements, dust, pollution...
a center to produce, spend, exploit oneself for money...
that's pretty much about it...

sky high tall buildings... i think i can live without it...
the higher you are, the easier it feels to collapse.

i guess the grass is always greener the other side.

dots to lines to pictures.

gosh. it's been ages. since i last drew!
properly... -.-
not to say i was ever good at it...
but i do miss it.

spending so much time in the workshop last week,
just to get austin checked up etc...
i had some scribbling time.
and i realized how deteriorated my skills are now... >.<
perspective is way off... hahaha.



and while busy busy packing.
i almost threw away all the old drawings...
gosh.







i like how i colour... paint...
randomly... couldn't careless attitude... haha.
i personally think... lady gaga's designers/stylist are inspired by me.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

i probably will never be as good as my lecturer...
there's a reason why she is my lecturer to begin with...
that... bitch. i hate her. HAHAHAHA.



i think this is what i need.
to spend some time, with the pencils and papers.
randomly drawing.
in lots of ways, it calms me down.

who cares if it's not as good as picaso or van gogh...
it's all about... having fun doing it!!!

A Saturday in Sekinchan

we had nothing better to do.
but because we can...
we decided to camwhore...
the vogue way. ^^

pictures says a thousand words.
so let them do the talking,
and you do the interpretation. ^^

for more details, do visit Heart Patrick

*updated* Sekinchan People *updated*












Photographer: Heart Patrick, Gene Kok, Tripod.
Fashion Stylist: Daniel Henry.
Art Direction: Everyone.

riding Austin

so here's my new baby.
so leng zhai ok!
damn macho gilerz!!!

he gets all the bloody attention when we are out together!
damn him!
i so don't need the extra sportlight!
-.-

like go mamak... people stare cock... GOSH. *so shy ah!*
can you imagine especially when you don't know how to... move him...
lolz. *so didn't happen... ok fine he fainted once... LOLz!!!*



















... damn loud k when he vvvvvBBRRRROOOOOOOMmmmMM~~~
there was this show off guy who parked next to us, then he 'main' his enjin... -.-
k lo... then i turn austin on... lolz. austin BROOOOOOM... the guy next to us... crawl away.
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
now i know why guys do that, to shut those showoffs... BLEKZ. hahaha!!!






yea sure, having an old car might have lots of pros and cons...
but what doesn't? haha. everything in life needs maintenances!
yet i rather get this, than a new honda... and pay like RM2k a year for my road tax.

get this vintage hottie and pay RM20 a year for my road tax...
use the balance to pay whatever i need to modify-fix him hotter instead!
beat that! hahahaha!!!



... insurance... pppfft...
*i don't know about this yet... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!*
PLEASE GOD... let there never be another nonsense accident EVER AGAIN!

but ... mom said he is expensive... URGHS!
hatez. haha. but I DON'T CARE!
yes yes... to date this is my most impulse purchase EVER!
^.^
... Paris is probably annoyed right now... better... ride him soon.

*61 more days*

day seven so far...

hatez.

nothing has been happening lately.
sien to the max.
but procrastinating in cleaning the house... >.<
and the junks in the office... >.<#

mmm. but lately, i have been loosing strength.
and then i also have been loosing interest...
pretty fast.
well except on meeting Austin.

tho, been pretty busy deleting all those dumb dumbs on msn that don't even talk.
FEELS so much better now that it's way more, simpler.
like why are they on the list when we don't talk. hahaha. ^.^

before i even loose interest in these pictures,
better just post them here now... haha.

so someday in between christmas and new years we went clubbing.
at the opera @ sunway piramid. was pretty... fun. haha.

overly hacked but still alive shoes...


camwhoring with chelsia


pose maut...


competing with pose maut...


camwhoring with elvanna


and then... i had to babysit the dumb miri boy...
-.- taihendesune... hahaha.

... cheap thrill of being a factory worker for... 3 minutes... lolz


i BAM n BAM n BAMMED!!!


lolz. too kiuts. i love the apron. hahaha.


miri boy drawing a "A" under heat and pressure...


kl boy... slaving... for art. haha.


and YAYS am finally going to see Austin later today.
WOOTS~
i hope he turns out FINE~~~
*finger crossed*

*updated 1.32AM... i feel like i have turned into a kid.... geeze the usage of england today is like... -.-# hahaha*

*62 more days*

tiada ertinya

my all time, favorite song.

*64 more days*

third day of the new year so far...

several things has kicked off the beginning of the new year.

on the first day itself i was awoken by a knock.
sis said mom was very ill.
and i needed to go get a doctor back.
and well most of the doctors in this area, they don't do house call.
tried calling few doctor friends and thank god Paul answered it.
wasn't a big major emergency after all.
especially since mom mustered enough energy to scold me...

then that evening,
i saw a dream car.
it's all miko's fault.
and now i want it badly.

while today, i suddenly felt emo.
so blue so gloomy.
i wonder why is the human mind so odd.

what if

lets just say,

you have a condition with your head.
mmm, there's a growth in the brain.
perhaps a tumor.

and it's deadly, but removable,
via surgery.

but by going thru this surgery,
because the tumor has widely spread,
there's a 85% of you loosing your memories...

would you, go thru this operation?

just so you could live longer,
but without your memories...
would being alive even mean anything then?
or perhaps, it's just better to start a new life,
and pretend everything that has happened,
to be meaningless...