Di-Larang Masuk

it's been a really hectic month.
but so far so good!!!
THANK GOD!!!

late last month we did a charity gala screening for a movie i did last year...
Di-Larang Masuk... which premiered on the 7th April 2011...

Directed by Jeff Chiang. Script was also written by him.
(He also wrote a really witty local animation Sea-Food go check it out!)

The outcome of the movie is pretty good.
Am quiet pleased with it.
Not bad for using a Mark II Canon Digital Camera to film.
The film treatment, colour editing, post production effects really made a big difference to the film's mood...
I ONLY hope that the local audience can get/accept the plot... lolz.
Because it's not the typical cliché Malay movie... haha. ops.

I really like how they changed the ending of the movie...
but OMG i really hate the extra, suddenly appearing -.-
kinda ruined my entire film. hahaha.
oh well what has been done is done...

and there are a few errors in the movie that both my departments did...
i was both production and costume designer.
low budget ma gila kuasa ma... haha.
that might just kill/haunt me for life...

but again THANK GOD it wasn't so noticeable!!! tee hee~~~ ^^

so erm... to whoever that is reading... GO WATCH IT!
see if you can spot my mistakes...
GOT TWO OK!!! very obvious if you are equally anal...
i give you present so you will shardups IF you can spot them... hahaha.









then suddenly came april...
>.<
super duper busy sial can die...
i am awake and blogging only because i had a way too long nap...

did a photoshot with Maya for a Singapore Magazine...


and another one with Tiz...



... and i might just die next week for a week of long fashion shows to do...
... but i love money so i shall shardups and not complain...

the month is so not over yet...
the real game has only just begun...
hur hur... BE KIND APRIL!!!

... ok i have to go eat. super hungry.
say bye bye to the abs... hahaha.

urghs don't know why some of my "i" i write... I and some i write i... hatez...
and... urghs... i just noticed it's the same blue shirt... too soon for a repeat... urghs... hahaha.

13.04.11
OMG... ok it's not the same blue shirt... i just saw it in the laundry basket that i have TWO similar blue shirts... HAHAHA... -.-

thank you, especially you...

i will endure all this discomfort and pain.
i know i will...

but if one day i loose all strength,
i want you to know, and remember...
that i love you ben, always.

i might not have had the guts to say it to you again.
but i do. always have, always will.

... i was really happy when i got your text message.
wishing me happy birthday.

it was your text that mattered most.

and it happily made my 28th birthday... meaningful.
because all these years, you... well you just made my day and year that day.
^^

and thank you to all my other friends for your kind wishes.
especially you.

Joyeux Anniversaire!

well here it goes.
another 739 days...
... 2 more years...

and i will officially have the big "O" again to my age.

zzz. sobs...
i feel so old suddenly.

oh well we all age. haha.
thank god i age youthfully. *winks*
hahaha.

i can't wait to hop on the plane later,
and eat my delicious thai foodsss!!!

AWESOME!!!

YAYS!!!

my new watch strap is here.

muahahahaha. now to buy the "watch"
hope it arrives tomorrow instead of monday. ^^

WHEEEEEEZE~~~

... now where are my clothes from UK? urghs!!!
ASOS... you better give me a proper explanation why there's such a delay!!!

*updated 7.06pm* URGSH!!! apparently it will only arrive fastest by next tuesday!!! HATEZ!!! what am i going to do with this strap till then!!!? PFFFT!!! why didn't they tell me it will arrive today so i could have ordered the "watch" earlier!!!??? snobs.

much self love

did some minor self pampering.
actually it's more of a pre-birthday present.
not the valentine's present like yuki did... -.-
that crazy prada whore... haha. blekz.

^^ well i needed a proper passport holder.
tee hee. and... sadly only LV has them in the zippe design.
prada didn't have what i wanted...
mont blanc is so... uncle... haha.
gucci is a no no.
hermes is... way way way over budget... :(

so as much as i hate LV... -.- i have another dumb overpriced product from them now.
and ugh a monogram.
i really do wonder why can't they make the zippe in graphite as well???
but well i really NEED a passport holder with zip.

a bit aunty hor... mmm...




now if only comme des garçons made their accessory for passport holder...

oh anyways... can't wait for my other pre-birthday present to arrive. ^^

emo humans deserve every self pampering moments, they owe it to themselves.

its official...

yea. it's official...
i have a slut word written on me...

=.= attached humans loves to pour sugar over me...

and i am... so cheap that i will respond... >.<

makes me really wonder...
are there any... faithful trustable human out there?

... never play with fire you can't extinguish...

UTT

oh super duper impromptu me.
utt's team sent an email to me on Tuesday afternoon,
saying he will meet me... on Wednesday evening...
OMG!
... only it's in Singapore...
and without even thinking... LOL.
i said OK. haha.
posted on facebook... my bff said LETs GO...
simply because she wants to do a quick get away from KL.
and by QUICK... i mean... QUICK...
we... left... at that very moment 3pm...
we decided to drive to Singapore to spend the night there
and shop like mad the next day. hahaha!!!
(i was like still in the office... then... ok lets GONE. =.=#)

oh anything for Utt. ^^


tee hee~~~ ^^
oh happy die me.
and yes... we just got back. HAHAHAHA!!!
yawns... panda eyes me later at work...

single but not available

single but not available.
this is the easier route to forget.
after all the advise was,

the best revenge is carry on with your life,
and he never existed.

so i went slutting, after so long. keke.
and last night was just exhausting.
the longest kiss ever.
close to 2 hours of mouth vacuuming.
haha.

gosh.
and then there's that nipple nibbling.
totally swollen now.
=.= damnit he probably swallowed my stud.



yes and the cock is pretty much swollen from the 2 hours alternating hj bj... nais
;) naughty kinky slutty.

something random

i will be off to china one week from today,
for a week...
(it will be nov when i come back)
i think i will be super deprived of the internet.
no msn. no facebook.

am i mentally prepared for that?

... as expected, K isn't interested. :)
well that's at least what i think.
seeing that he doesn't really responds to my sms.

oh well. life is such a funny road.
i think it's best walking alone and laughing out loud alone.

some random pictures i snapped today.
i rarely snap pictures these days...
i don't know why...
i don't even really bother camwhoring the blond side of me now...

these bananas are huge. they say that this fruit will soon be extinct if we are not careful.



went to visit the set today.
while i was leaving, i took a different route,
and saw this house with the plane,
i smiled a little because it's the house my friend took a picture of some time back...



i think that my england has gone down the drain.

if only it comes true...

i wish.

i am dead.

the pain today was just, excruciating.

don't know how long i will last...

so please... end it fast.

those specs

last night...
sighs.

i don't know how to write this.

...
i met someone last night.
and i like that someone.

but like in the past...

this will probably be another one way street.

so i should just remind myself...
a big huge NO NO...
that it wouldn't work.

i am evil,
and evil people,
well they are not allowed to love.

as simple as that. sighs.

blank

everyday i feel like snapping a picture.
so i can post them here.
instead of writing so much.
but i am just not inspired.

everyday i feel more and more tired.
to do things, anything just feels like a chore.

last weekend, i went down to singapore.
what was suppose to be a spontaneous one day trip,
turned into a night trip...
sighs. will never trust people.
anyone for that matter.

everyday, i feel that i my trust level shrinks less and lesser.

everyday, i feel that i am acting, smiling away.
pretending everything is ok.

everyday, almost hourly, i find myself, questioning myself...
Are you ok?

only to hear the answer, i don't know...
and now, i don't know anymore comes to thought.

and everyday, i think how many more days are left to count.

some people are grateful for so little.
i am so blessed, but yet...

work is sort of my only escape right now...

eccentric

sometimes i think i am like this...
thank god it's only sometimes. ^^

new path

it's going to be a new journey.
a new walk.
might be a bumpy,
might be a rocky,
road to walk...
but at least,
it will feel stable.

never had i imagine...
me...
doing...
a nine to six life.

but well... this is the very small step.
... only i still have yet to sign anything...
so even if nothing is official...
i have an office to walk into soon.
a work pass.
a room... *well they are building it...*

important thing is... it's a new path in this little life.
hope all goes well. ^^

no where to run to...

there are a lot of things that i want to write about.
but i am just lost.
i don't exactly know where to start.
what to start...

i thought going back to hk for a visit would have done me good...
and it did, in many ways...



until i was walking around central...
and saw this guy wearing this tshirt
at IFC...



every where i went,
everything, somehow,
reminded me of you...


... you can run but you can't hide...

dots to lines to pictures.

gosh. it's been ages. since i last drew!
properly... -.-
not to say i was ever good at it...
but i do miss it.

spending so much time in the workshop last week,
just to get austin checked up etc...
i had some scribbling time.
and i realized how deteriorated my skills are now... >.<
perspective is way off... hahaha.



and while busy busy packing.
i almost threw away all the old drawings...
gosh.







i like how i colour... paint...
randomly... couldn't careless attitude... haha.
i personally think... lady gaga's designers/stylist are inspired by me.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

i probably will never be as good as my lecturer...
there's a reason why she is my lecturer to begin with...
that... bitch. i hate her. HAHAHAHA.



i think this is what i need.
to spend some time, with the pencils and papers.
randomly drawing.
in lots of ways, it calms me down.

who cares if it's not as good as picaso or van gogh...
it's all about... having fun doing it!!!

Daniel

woots.
my name is again another title for a song...
... so emo. hahahahaha.



Daniel when I first saw you
I knew that you had a flame in your heart
And under under our blue skies
Marble movie skies
I found a home in your eyes
We'll never be apart

And when the fires came
The smell of cinders and rain
Perfumed almost everything
We laughed and laughed and laughed
And in the golden blue
Cryin' took me to the darkest place
And you have set fire to my heart

When I run in the dark, Daniel
To a place that's worst ?
Under a sheet of rain in my heart
Daniel
I dream of home

But in a goodbye bed
With my arms around your neck
Into our love the tears crept
Just catch in the eye of the storm
And as my heart ran round
My dreams pulled me from the ground
Forever to search for the flame
For home again
For home again

When I run in the dark, Daniel
To a place that's worst?
Under a sheet of rain in my heart
Daniel
I dream of home

When I run in the dark, Daniel
To a place that's worst
Under a sheet of rain in my heart
Daniel
I dream of home

being with Austin

OMG!!!

lolz. i didn't know it would be this much fun being with Austin. hahahaha.

it was only few hours together and i am just... head over heels.
he was soooo good to fetch Julie for her Quickie show,
then fetch Ee Von and I around town, then to mamaks... hahahaha.

gosh I do hope Paris feels ok with me abandoning him in the mall...
for Austin... -.-#

will so have to camwhore later when i see Austin... ^.^
was just too dark to do much kinky stuffs this evening. hehe.
WOOTS~~~

lets

i have always liked the idea that you complete something.
one round.
so that it connects.
and i have always love the idea that i get to choose my death.

it's rather tragic to just die randomly,
spontaneously.
unwillingly.

i like how my tombstone would read,
11.03.83 - 10.03.10
looks cool.

life has been a fun ride,
wild but fun.
regardless of what may come,
and happen.
i think everything else is rather cliche,
and predictable.

rarely anything excites me now.
or even interest me.
i think i am more excited to see what's after life is like...

somedays i think perhaps i have this illness,
deadly, (literally)
that's why everything else is not meant to be.

so let's pretend, i only have 2 more months.
65 days more to be exact.

now it feels, there's so much to do,
so little time left. haha.

if i live thru this time line, then let's play again,
the next year,
and if i don't... you are not invited to my funeral.

life is about timeline, movements.
so you feel that you have achieved something in life.

KL e kaerimasu!!!

finally i am back and done with ipoh!
YAYS!
two more days and i am done with the shoot!
double YAYS!!!

i almost forgotten what home sweet home meant...
how comfortable being in my own room is like...
regardless the mess.
my own privacy. yes to random masturbation!

finally my own... BED!!!

it's good to be home!
;)

MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!



p/s THANKS ben ben. i really really love the pressie. and bleks i couldn't wait to open it ma~~~ heh. HUGS!