feeling happy.
and morbid at the same time.
a little odd, a little too weird.
but all seems like it's too good.
geesh. i truly wonder i am being plastic even to myself?
tho honestly i find trouble smiling lately.
it feels like it takes up more muscle and energy to concave the lips.
and i have been having a constant migraine.
like i had some concussion or something.
perhaps the worms have lay eggs on the skull.
*all thanks to that horrid sushi email*
and they are munching the brains.
no wonder i feel screwed up and dumber by the day.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Pisau Cukur
i am loving my work on set.
there are ups and downs.
naturally.
but overall i love the colours and moods i have set so far.
feeling sooooo proud of myself. *winks*
it's not a self praise~
everyone says so.
now even the divas are tamed by moi.
kakakakakakakaka.
and now everybody knows, there can only be one diva on set,
and that diva is ME. hehe.
2 more weeks, and i am DONE with 'Pisau Cukur'*,
perhaps then i should learn to be a 'Pisau Cukur'*.
WOOTS~ i need a holiday.
with the sun, sea, sand...
sex and sangria~~~
^_^
*pisau cukur means gold digger in malay*
there are ups and downs.
naturally.
but overall i love the colours and moods i have set so far.
feeling sooooo proud of myself. *winks*
it's not a self praise~
everyone says so.
now even the divas are tamed by moi.
kakakakakakakaka.
and now everybody knows, there can only be one diva on set,
and that diva is ME. hehe.
2 more weeks, and i am DONE with 'Pisau Cukur'*,
perhaps then i should learn to be a 'Pisau Cukur'*.
WOOTS~ i need a holiday.
with the sun, sea, sand...
sex and sangria~~~
^_^
*pisau cukur means gold digger in malay*
Monday, October 13, 2008
choices - decision
if i didn't take the chances of using the tunnel,
if i decided on the normal route,
perhaps then i wouldn't have gotten lost.
perhaps then the accident would not have happened.
then perhaps, i would have had a normal day today. (saturday)
but instead i decided to take chances.
and that choice lead to an accident.
nothing major just some damages.
not my fault.
i was driving the uncle decided to open his door suddenly.
regardless my driving speed, fast or way slower,
i would have still, knock his car door. down.
after some major minor argument,
thank god for once a police car was ronda-ing.
he decided to fix my car instead of settling it with just RM150.
(HELLO RM150!? THAT'S MY AX TSHIRT PRICE K!)
then the rain came pouring down.
another decision was needed.
to drive home now or to leave the car here. (at the workshop)
since they can only get it fix by monday onwards.
it was only then that i realized,
i have nobody that i could rely on.
to help me. to come rescue me.
even daddy wasn't available.
for someone i have never called for more than 2 years,
in this state of desperation, even he was too busy for me.
no prince in a shinning amour.
no super heroes.
just me myself and i.
even tho it was raining then,
i still kept a smile on my face.
*whoever said frowning took up more energy than to smile is so WRONG!*
life goes on no matter what.
alone or otherwise.
it's the decision that matters,
be happy or be sad about it.
and for everything else, there's always cash.
if i decided on the normal route,
perhaps then i wouldn't have gotten lost.
perhaps then the accident would not have happened.
then perhaps, i would have had a normal day today. (saturday)
but instead i decided to take chances.
and that choice lead to an accident.
nothing major just some damages.
not my fault.
i was driving the uncle decided to open his door suddenly.
regardless my driving speed, fast or way slower,
i would have still, knock his car door. down.
after some major minor argument,
thank god for once a police car was ronda-ing.
he decided to fix my car instead of settling it with just RM150.
(HELLO RM150!? THAT'S MY AX TSHIRT PRICE K!)
then the rain came pouring down.
another decision was needed.
to drive home now or to leave the car here. (at the workshop)
since they can only get it fix by monday onwards.
it was only then that i realized,
i have nobody that i could rely on.
to help me. to come rescue me.
even daddy wasn't available.
for someone i have never called for more than 2 years,
in this state of desperation, even he was too busy for me.
no prince in a shinning amour.
no super heroes.
just me myself and i.
even tho it was raining then,
i still kept a smile on my face.
*whoever said frowning took up more energy than to smile is so WRONG!*
life goes on no matter what.
alone or otherwise.
it's the decision that matters,
be happy or be sad about it.
and for everything else, there's always cash.
Friday, October 10, 2008
torched to touched
the night before the shoot i was about to get a stoke.
and a nervous breakdown.
i was basically hyperventilating and hypertension, hyper everything else.
including excited.
my heart rate was beating so fast i almost couldn't breathe.
i wanted everything to be perfect. in every single way.
so i decided to fuck the night, stay up and forget about sleep.
just finish up fixing everything.
plus i had to wait for a designer friend to finish up a pajamas.
which was worth waiting for. till 2am in the morning.
things on set was hectic. drama. and crazy.
divas were being divas.
and since being the first day, with everyone.
i decided to play low key.
no point in making a big huge fuss. yet.
the day went by with me being slighty annoyed.
and pretty much emo.
our dancing shoes was stolen. i had to get new ones.
nobody else cared how important they were.
i had no choice but to go via LRT~ to get them.
if it wasn't the timing and the rain. i would have drove.
and phone calls kept coming,
that i talked as if i shouted on the LRT.
ok fine. i was shouting. =.=#
thank god you smsed me asking how things were.
allowed me to rant... a little. and bring up a smile in me.
then thursday came. my mtv ad. not too bad fast cash pay. ^_^
and ellie got fast easy cash for loaning the space out. ^_^ heh.
but the best part of it all was when peter said,
when he learn from alex that i did gng.
that he knows a young aspiring fashion designer boy,
who loved my work. who simply adores gng.
and that brought the inner part of me smiling.
and knowing that, truly for once that i have inspired others, i feel good about myself. and my work.
screw the haters. :P
many times i feel like breaking down.
giving up all hope.
that nobody in this team appreciates it.
then some stranger comes telling me what differences i have made.
suddenly whatever stress and torture i have gone thru seems worth it all.
i am dead tired now. deprived of sleeps. turning... turned into a panda.
a sick panda since the first day of shoot. with high fever, flu any everything else sick.
and i simply love my sponsors.
adidas, hermes, louis vuitton, jimmy choos, radley, lesportsac, shinju pearls, chris & delph, anod, kitsch, mooks, rip curl, crocs, reliance optical.
I HEARTS YOU!!!
thank you. for making it a blast!!!
*LOL it's like an anugerah speech~~~*
way way more days to go before this nonsense ends.
T_T i need sleep now.
*sorry i haven't really figured out how i should post pictures... and well not that i had the time or mood to snap any anyways*
*tho i really regretted not snapping some with the mtv crews... but then again they shoot a whole video of ME*
*i shall remind myself to shoot more picturesssss*
and a nervous breakdown.
i was basically hyperventilating and hypertension, hyper everything else.
including excited.
my heart rate was beating so fast i almost couldn't breathe.
i wanted everything to be perfect. in every single way.
so i decided to fuck the night, stay up and forget about sleep.
just finish up fixing everything.
plus i had to wait for a designer friend to finish up a pajamas.
which was worth waiting for. till 2am in the morning.
things on set was hectic. drama. and crazy.
divas were being divas.
and since being the first day, with everyone.
i decided to play low key.
no point in making a big huge fuss. yet.
the day went by with me being slighty annoyed.
and pretty much emo.
our dancing shoes was stolen. i had to get new ones.
nobody else cared how important they were.
i had no choice but to go via LRT~ to get them.
if it wasn't the timing and the rain. i would have drove.
and phone calls kept coming,
that i talked as if i shouted on the LRT.
ok fine. i was shouting. =.=#
thank god you smsed me asking how things were.
allowed me to rant... a little. and bring up a smile in me.
then thursday came. my mtv ad. not too bad fast cash pay. ^_^
and ellie got fast easy cash for loaning the space out. ^_^ heh.
but the best part of it all was when peter said,
when he learn from alex that i did gng.
that he knows a young aspiring fashion designer boy,
who loved my work. who simply adores gng.
and that brought the inner part of me smiling.
and knowing that, truly for once that i have inspired others, i feel good about myself. and my work.
screw the haters. :P
many times i feel like breaking down.
giving up all hope.
that nobody in this team appreciates it.
then some stranger comes telling me what differences i have made.
suddenly whatever stress and torture i have gone thru seems worth it all.
i am dead tired now. deprived of sleeps. turning... turned into a panda.
a sick panda since the first day of shoot. with high fever, flu any everything else sick.
and i simply love my sponsors.
adidas, hermes, louis vuitton, jimmy choos, radley, lesportsac, shinju pearls, chris & delph, anod, kitsch, mooks, rip curl, crocs, reliance optical.
I HEARTS YOU!!!
thank you. for making it a blast!!!
*LOL it's like an anugerah speech~~~*
way way more days to go before this nonsense ends.
T_T i need sleep now.
*sorry i haven't really figured out how i should post pictures... and well not that i had the time or mood to snap any anyways*
*tho i really regretted not snapping some with the mtv crews... but then again they shoot a whole video of ME*
*i shall remind myself to shoot more picturesssss*
Monday, October 6, 2008
all in one
i am happy, sad, excited, nervous,
i am also tired, restless, sick, constipated, dehydrated,
as well as sleepy, exhausted, disappointed, deprived,
i have also been smoking for the fun of it, a death wish,
and many many other positive and negative mix emotions,
all at the same time.
but knowing that you are there for me to cheer me up,
when i am down down down,
that just brings a smile to me.
can't wait for the production to start and end.
where should i go to reward myself after all this hard work~~~
^_^
*MTV update*
joyce's will be ala carrie bradshaw, she'll be blogging from home etc.
amani's is going to be in an old theatre or studio. she'll be... rolling on the bed???
while mine will be ala ugly betty... =.= HAHA. i'll be... a secret for now. haha.
humour me~~~
i am also tired, restless, sick, constipated, dehydrated,
as well as sleepy, exhausted, disappointed, deprived,
i have also been smoking for the fun of it, a death wish,
and many many other positive and negative mix emotions,
all at the same time.
but knowing that you are there for me to cheer me up,
when i am down down down,
that just brings a smile to me.
can't wait for the production to start and end.
where should i go to reward myself after all this hard work~~~
^_^
*MTV update*
joyce's will be ala carrie bradshaw, she'll be blogging from home etc.
amani's is going to be in an old theatre or studio. she'll be... rolling on the bed???
while mine will be ala ugly betty... =.= HAHA. i'll be... a secret for now. haha.
humour me~~~
Thursday, October 2, 2008
hoollly marconi and cheeses.
it's sorta of confirmed i think. at least it sounds like it.
that joyce, sharifah and i are the chosen talents...
is that even the right word? blogger, actress and fashionista?
erm for what?
for a ad, an intel ad made only for mtv asia.
i know. i got a shock to when they called.
i thought i was styling the ad, but no~~~ they want me in the ad... =.=
weird i am not even as famous as joyce and sharifah.
hahahahaha. i just like the idea of the fast cash~ LOL.
that joyce, sharifah and i are the chosen talents...
is that even the right word? blogger, actress and fashionista?
erm for what?
for a ad, an intel ad made only for mtv asia.
i know. i got a shock to when they called.
i thought i was styling the ad, but no~~~ they want me in the ad... =.=
weird i am not even as famous as joyce and sharifah.
hahahahaha. i just like the idea of the fast cash~ LOL.
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