torched to touched

the night before the shoot i was about to get a stoke.
and a nervous breakdown.

i was basically hyperventilating and hypertension, hyper everything else.
including excited.

my heart rate was beating so fast i almost couldn't breathe.

i wanted everything to be perfect. in every single way.

so i decided to fuck the night, stay up and forget about sleep.
just finish up fixing everything.

plus i had to wait for a designer friend to finish up a pajamas.
which was worth waiting for. till 2am in the morning.

things on set was hectic. drama. and crazy.
divas were being divas.
and since being the first day, with everyone.
i decided to play low key.

no point in making a big huge fuss. yet.

the day went by with me being slighty annoyed.
and pretty much emo.

our dancing shoes was stolen. i had to get new ones.
nobody else cared how important they were.
i had no choice but to go via LRT~ to get them.
if it wasn't the timing and the rain. i would have drove.

and phone calls kept coming,
that i talked as if i shouted on the LRT.
ok fine. i was shouting. =.=#

thank god you smsed me asking how things were.
allowed me to rant... a little. and bring up a smile in me.

then thursday came. my mtv ad. not too bad fast cash pay. ^_^
and ellie got fast easy cash for loaning the space out. ^_^ heh.

but the best part of it all was when peter said,

when he learn from alex that i did gng.

that he knows a young aspiring fashion designer boy,
who loved my work. who simply adores gng.

and that brought the inner part of me smiling.

and knowing that, truly for once that i have inspired others, i feel good about myself. and my work.

screw the haters. :P

many times i feel like breaking down.
giving up all hope.
that nobody in this team appreciates it.

then some stranger comes telling me what differences i have made.
suddenly whatever stress and torture i have gone thru seems worth it all.

i am dead tired now. deprived of sleeps. turning... turned into a panda.
a sick panda since the first day of shoot. with high fever, flu any everything else sick.

and i simply love my sponsors.
adidas, hermes, louis vuitton, jimmy choos, radley, lesportsac, shinju pearls, chris & delph, anod, kitsch, mooks, rip curl, crocs, reliance optical.
I HEARTS YOU!!!
thank you. for making it a blast!!!
*LOL it's like an anugerah speech~~~*

way way more days to go before this nonsense ends.
T_T i need sleep now.

*sorry i haven't really figured out how i should post pictures... and well not that i had the time or mood to snap any anyways*
*tho i really regretted not snapping some with the mtv crews... but then again they shoot a whole video of ME*
*i shall remind myself to shoot more picturesssss*