my baby boy

it's now been more than 12 years,
since i last held you.

it some times does feel like only yesterday,
that we were running around,
you digging holes around the garden.
chewing my slippers...
waiting for me at the front gate...

i miss you.

i miss the way you round around crazily,
before you would jump on me.

i miss the sound you make on the floor,
that you will scratch it before you lie down.
apparently it cools it.

i miss playing with you.
chilling on the porch with you.

i miss how your fur will always be tangled,
on the sides of your ears.

you were super mischievous.

today marks your death anniversary.
i really do miss you astro boy.
you were and always will be my best friend. :)

big bro always called you "Handome" and you will be so proud...


... i can't believe you made me cry, again.
even after all these years.
i really do miss and love you so much Astro boy.

I remember (the beginning of astro)

i remember when i was a kid,

there was this disney movie. about a boy and his dog. i couldn't really remember if his fur was all white or black or a combination. but i remembered him being mischievously naughty but extremely active and helpful. and his name was Astro.

this was how, my dog got his name. Astro. he was a splitz breed. his fur is a combination of black and white. totally cutes!

i remember astro being born in the year end when i was eight. it was the beginning of the holiday season. i was in standard 2 going to standard 3. he was the first born, yim yim and lucky's. my neighbour's dogs. at first, joanne wanted to keep him for herself. so his original name was mickey.

and i was initially suppose to be given the 5th puppy. but i wanted mickey more. somehow in the end, he's mine. ^^ even thou i also loved the 5th puppy as well. and he was all white. i think her cousin wanted him more. haha.

i remember the day i got astro, the sky was very dark, it was in the evening, but it was going to rain soon. and we just got back from langkawi. i even remember i was sick during that trip, with high fever.

the moment i got back, grandma asked me to go the 'back shop' to buy 2 packs of sugar in exchange for astro, as a token of appreciation since he was priceless.

being an eight year old, i wasn't very happy with this arrangement, that i had to cycle all the way behind and use my own pocket money, plus it was about rain. but i was very excited none-the-less... and was extremely happy because from that day onwards, i will have a dog.

eleven years

it's been eleven years since i last held you.

it feels as if yesterday,
i was next to you...
your smelly smell...

i remember clearly that day you ran out of the house...
and i was chasing you like mad...
naturally i was annoyed...
the more i called the more you ran.
-.-
then you saw a cat, and started chasing it...
and we ended up sitting next to one another...
because you got so caught up barking at it...

and we looked at one another...
LOLS.
and you was about to leap away from me...
when i caught you. hehe.

i seriously miss you Astro boy...
so sorry i was never a good master.
i should have known you weren't well...

even tho it was only 5 years that we had together...
i will remember you forever.
those moments we spent.
the holes you dug at the garden.
the bones you chewed.
... i promise to jot them down.
those fabulous silly memories we had...

I AM TERRIBLY SORRY THAT I DIDN'T HAVE A PROPER GRAVE FOR YOU. SO I COULD VISIT... DADDY DIDN'T ALLOW IT... I HATE HIM TILL TODAY FOR DUMPING YOU IN A DUSBIN IN DJ... I AM... REALLY SORRY BABY BOY. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. AND HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY IN HEAVEN. I REALLY DO HOPE TO SEE YOU AGAIN... AND WE CAN PLAY FETCH... AND I CAN TICKLE YOUR STOMACH... AND HUG YOU TIGHTLY... I NEVER WANT TO LET YOU GO. I MISS YOU BABY BOY.