you are such a selfish prick!

sighs.

one minute i am chirpy.
next second... the world is like my worst enemy.

should have been a fun day.
but it turns out to be a mmm... mood less one.
things on set didn't really went as planned.
the scenes i memorized for was last minute cancelled.
and other scenes were slotted in instead,
which were long and being a dory fish i couldn't memorize them.

i think the director was moody. -.-
i turned moody... and felt stressed!
even when my new camera was delivered on set,
i wasn't even really smiling... or happy.
gggggrrrrrrrrrrr... and i was so looking forward to playing with it.
now it's just sitting at the pile of clothes.

then my sister is being all evil at home... -.-
urgggh i hate them all!!!
they are idiots to begin with,
but that doesn't mean i have to be like them.

i hate her. i wish she died. i seriously do.
my dear sister, that day will come,
when you will truly see.
and hopefully understand.
if only you see your reflection in the mirror now.
how ugly you have become...

... i never wanted this life. i really never did.
... i don't know why...
... i don't understand why...

to be all honest, when the pain happened on the chest,
i was/am/still half hoping for something tragic.
cancer... fine.
leukemia... FINE.
the pain? i know i can bare with it.
it still hurts but i am all numb to it already.
YAYs! bring it on!!!

... i know i am mumbling. i am being emo after all.
SIGHS!