second day of the year, but it seems so dark and empty.

i woke up at 5.
wanting to cry.
i heard from somewhere (men's health) it's healthy to actually cry.
but i forgotten how this works.

i don't have tears to drop.
i don't know why.

even at my aunt's wake i couldn't shred a single tear.
all i felt was sadness.
memories of my grandma and the shop lot in malacca,
was all i could think of.

i don't know what i am to do.

i don't want this path anymore.
god oh lord please send someone to guide me.
let him shine some light to walk me out this dark cave.

it feels so cold.
i feel so heartless.

like an empty shell
just waiting for days to pass me by.